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Paula says:
March 28, 2011 at 10:13 am
It’s hard to know just how much our past contributes to who we are today, but the answer for most people is “a lot.” Someone recently asked me a pointed question that in order to answer fully and honestly, I had to really grapple with my past and how it continues to affect me now — how it has shaped my current path. While it was difficult, it was also very instructive and revealing. Learning about someone’s past is often critical to understanding what makes them tick, why they’ve made certain life choices.
So when someone can’t come clean about their past, it usually means that there are some unresolved issues there that may come back to haunt the present. Or, it means they can’t open themselves enough to another person that they will risk the rejection and judgment that could potentially ensue. ideally, we would all be with someone who we could tell anything, and whatever was said would not change the tenor of the relationship, except to deepen it. To the extent that’s not the case, it may be a sign that you are with the wrong person, and the relationship you’re jeopardizing by coming clean may not be that solid in the first place.
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